Several days ago there had been things that kept propping up in my life, tempting is how I would define it. It was one of those things that we know we should stop yet there’s still that thing in our head that says ” go try it”, ” live a little” or ” just enjoy the moment”
A year ago, I would easily just go for it. Spontaneity (or weakness?) is my problem especially on those I’m addicted to, mind you these are not substances, and whenever I try to let go of those, it would still come back haunting me, calling me, inviting me in their repertoire of indulgence. But this time I’m anew, and have been building myself up, my self worth.. yet sadly these invitations still breaks me.
Lost? Don’t worry, God will lead you back
I have read a message similar with that somewhere along EDSA, its a 54 km highway here in the city; And several times it has kept me wondering if I have made a detour.
Astonishingly, whenever I am at my weakest or whenever the said invitation comes, there would always be things that would happen that would help me get out of it. As if I’m driving myself toward a cliff and God would be there building the bridge before I fall. My very own deliverance would come up and I would be free to smirk at his annoyance, laugh at my stupidity, smile up above and think it through.
So yes, maybe I am on a detour, I have lost the good path that I once had, a good career, a loving relationship, financial stability… I am indeed lost. But I will never question Him, because I know he is just out there leading me to something better; a policeman in the night, my very own engineer, my patient counselor.